A Time For Revenge
by Artemicion
Summary: Crack. Loki discovers Minecraft. Who has time for revenge?


_**A Time for Revenge**_

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers. I'm just playing in the sandbox Marvel lovingly created for us.**

**A/N: This is a fill for this prompt from the avengerkink meme: _Loki doesn't have time to take over the world...because he's too busy playing Minecraft_. Pure crack. Enjoy.**

* * *

Revenge was a sweet thing. For the God of Mischief, revenge was a constant thought these days. It was not as easy a task to carry out as one might suggest. It took time and energy to not only plan out the best, most effective kinds of revenge but also to execute said plans. So that is what Loki spent much of his time doing these days: plotting revenge upon the meddling Avengers.

_Earth's Mightiest Heroes._ Loki thought to himself in a mocking sneer as he padded through the charming suburban household that he'd commandeered upon his return to Midgard. Escaping Asgard without his powers had been difficult but what Loki had always lacked in physical prowess he more than made up with his mind. The Allfather's insightful decision to strip Loki of his powers had been one of his wiser decisions, one Loki was determined to make him pay for once he made his glorious return to the throne that was rightfully _his_.

_Such trivial clutter. These mortals and their obsession with their possessions..._ Loki thought disdainfully as he looked at the knickknacks scattered throughout the house. The family had been a small one, consisting of a dentist, his elementary school teacher wife, and their two bratty sons.

Long before the ill-fated Chitauri invasion, Loki had 'visited' the Johnsons of 3425 Halifax Lane on a random whim, to see what dull things the humans of Midgard spent their days doing. Within ten minutes, he'd caused for the husband and wife to argue, one of their sons to set fire to their garage, and the other to wander into the path of a passing car. Needless to say, he'd taken a perverse interest in them ever since, wreaking havoc at will just to fluster the predictable and boring family.

Upon his return to Midgard, he'd concocted a scheme to make the Johnsons disappear for a while, just until he could figure out how to proceed with his Avengers problem. He needed a base of operations to get things underway. Fortunately for the Johnsons, they'd embarked on a month-long vacation only the day before. It felt anticlimactic to get the house as he desired but to be robbed of the opportunity for a little more fun with the Johnsons.

_Let's see why young Jason values this contraption so._ Loki thought as he slid into the older boy's desk. All around him, posters containing images of black-clad groups of musicians called 'rock bands' stared at him. Clothes, both dirty and clean, were either strewn over every piece of available furniture or left in heaps along the carpeted floor. A basketball was tucked away in the corner beside a dusty guitar. Jason Johnson was every bit the frivolous, stereotypical teenaged boy that Loki loathed.

He started up the computer and waited as the Windows logo appeared. When the desktop loaded, the God of Mischief used the knowledge that he'd acquired over the years from observing Midgard to pull up the internet. He wanted to scour for every bit of information that he could find on what his nemesis, the Avengers, had been up to while he'd been working his way out of Asgard.

He navigated the little arrow to one of the icons and 'clicked' rapidly. What he received was a gray screen with brown lining the bottom. In the brown, dirt-like texture were the blocky letters MINECRAFT and two boxes for a 'Username' and 'Password'—both of which were helpfully prefilled. At the top read the words 'Minecraft News' along with a list of what appeared to be updates. Loki stared uncomprehendingly. Was 'Minecrft' another name for the internet? Damn these Midgard creatures and their complicated slang!

Frowning, Loki clicked on the Login button. He started as the screen flashed white with the word MOJANG in the center, but it abruptly disappeared and was replaced by a blurry, scrolling image of some far away land. Again, the word MINECRAFT was in gray and bold at the top. Loki cocked his head in wonder at the yellow phrase that flashed at the corner of the blocky title and read _You've got a brand new key!_

What in the Nine Realms…?

Perplexed, Loki looked at the large buttons that gave him the option of Singleplayer, Multiplayer, and Texture Packs. Below these were two smaller ones that read Options and Quit Game. He experimentally clicked on the Singleplayer since he did not wish to be disturbed while on his quest for knowledge.

This action yielded another puzzling screen. At the top were the instructions Select World. What he had to choose from was a list of worlds he did not recognize to be any he'd ever been on or heard of. He did not see Midgard, strangely, and wondered what trickery this was since he was very clearly on this miserable human world they called Midgard.

He frowned and saw an option to 'Create New World' and chose it out of curiosity. It brought up a prompt allowing him to type something judging by the blinking cursor. Loki did so, typing in the world's name to be Midgard…but then he deleted that and replaced it with Earth. Perhaps this would yield to him the information he desired by using the humans' given name to their planet.

Nothing immediately happened so he started clicking on some of the buttons. Each click yielded brief explanations of what the 'Game Modes' Survival, Creative, and Hardcore meant, but Loki was growing impatient. He left it on 'Survival' and commanded that it to Create New World. After a few seconds, he found himself staring at a vast field of green and brown blocks under a crisp blue sky. This was most definitely NOT the internet. It was some sort of…simulated world.

He was intrigued, though, and began trying to figure out what this strange, blocky world had to offer. The mouse gave him the ability to look around, but it took a frustrating few minutes for him to figure out how to actually _move_ from that spot. Once he was mobile, he delved further into the grassy plain that seemed to spread endlessly in every direction. At one point, he aimed the crosshairs down and struck at the grass and was startled when it became seeds, seeds which instantly appeared in one of the little blocks that lined the bottom of the screen.

He noticed that the nub that appeared to be his 'hand' also held the seeds. Some further experimentation taught him that the boxes were placeholders for any items that he wanted to have access to immediately. He also discovered how to discard items and how to see his full inventory. This was all well and good, but what was the point of all this?

Frowning, Loki suddenly found his avatar being shoved forward and heard an eager, "Oink!"

A strange pink animal was closely examining him, looking at him through empty eyes that reflected what a dullard it was. Loki backed away from it, but it followed, oinking again.

"Be gone, dull creature," Loki scoffed and punched it. It squealed and fled. Loki grinned and chased after it, punching until it disappeared in a puff of smoke and a dying cry. His reward for its death was an uncooked porkchop. It was strangely satisfying to devour the fruit of his labors.

When he stumbled upon some trees, Loki had a hunch that given enough punches, he could collect the wood and leaves the same way he had been with the dirt and grass seeds. His hunch was proven true with the wood; he set about clearing out the area. The square-shaped sun set and yet Loki continued to pound away at the trees. He acquired a satisfying total of sixty-four logs, the max number allowed per stack, by the time he realized that the world around his avatar had darkened considerably.

Loki went into his Inventory to rearrange his precious items. He wasn't quite sure what he ought to do with all of them but he discovered that by placing the logs in one of the boxes of the two-by-two grid that it would yield him wooden planks. He figured out how to make sticks from those wooden planks, but as he was trying to figure out what the purpose of these sticks were when he was attacked.

His avatar grunted, which startled him. He frantically exited his Inventory only to find himself face to face with a _skeleton_ that was armed with a bow and arrow…and shooting at him! Loki punched at it but it persistently came at him, firing arrow after arrow and depleting his hearts until he was forced to flee. But the creature _chased_ him, and Loki made a mad dash as arrows whizzed by him and embedded themselves into the ground.

He saw some figures in the distance that were dress in the same light blue shirt and purple pants that his own avatar was dressed in and assumed that they were people. But as he neared them in his flight from the bow-wielding skeleton, they turned and began shambling towards him, arms outstretched and moaning.

"What in the—_Zombies?_ Back, you!"

Loki struck at them with a stick. He was dangerously low on health—only two hearts left! As he found himself surrounded, with the zombies closing in on one side and the persistent archer skeleton (why was it an ARCHER? Was this Barton's revenge?) on the other, he knew he was hopelessly trapped. What he needed was magic. If only the blasted Allfather had not taken away his magic! He could—oh, what was he saying?

He fled again. As he dashed by a tree, he heard a strange skittering noise and saw a _spider_ about the size of his character dropped eagerly from a tree. It joined the mob already chasing him, and Loki didn't want to stop to see what kind of damage it could do, not when he was already on the verge of death as it was. Somehow, he managed to outdistance them. He found a cave to take shelter in.

"What IS this place?" Loki wondered aloud, his heart pounding in a shameful way no video game should elicit. He kept his character hidden in the dark as he listened for sounds of his pursuers, unaware that something more sinister was lurking. He froze when he heard it, recognizing danger before he knew why.

_SSSSSSSSSssssssssssSSSSSSSSSS!_

BOOM!

Loki blinked as the game informed him: Game Over!

He had the option of to Respawn or go to the Title menu. With a tantrum of massive proportions, Loki savagely closed out the window.

HOURS of work gone. HOURS of collecting exploring and collecting resources! A glance to the room around him revealed that it was much darker than it had been when he'd first sat down, but it only fueled Loki's rage. How had he even died? What had attacked him in the dark? He hadn't even heard anything! Loki angrily sat back, glaring—not pouting—at the desktop. _Stupid vile mindless creatures! When I am the ruler of your world, you will all tremble and perish beneath me! I will crush every one of you as I will the Avengers! There will be no pristine, untouched world for you to ruin!_

He shook his head savagely. It took a moment for him to compose himself, to remember the real reason that he'd commandeered the computer in the first place. The internet. Loki took a breath and let it out, trying to let out his frustration with it and found the CORRECT icon this time.

It led him to the internet that he'd been looking for to begin with. He scowled at the news links, most of them relating to the endless debates that had been circling among political commentators and news outlets regarding the Avengers. Normally, Loki would have delighted in reading the many criticisms that the ungrateful Midgardians posed upon their heroes but today, he was in no mood. Not after losing so much.

Seriously, WHAT HAD KILLED HIM? What had been that hissing noise he'd heard?

He clicked on a link to CNN's page, which brought up an array of pictures some lucky photographer had managed to capture of his idiot brother and Captain America battling back to back. There was a story of the photojournalist's 'terrifying' encounter with the 'alien creatures' before Captain America and the 'Caped Guy' came swooping in to save him. Loki might have enjoyed hearing how the good Captain had taken a shot directly to the stomach more had he not been preoccupied.

_Do explosives EXIST in that world? And my things! Do they just continue to float there or do those vile animals get them? Like spoils of war? Unacceptable._

His quest for news on the Avengers became a quest for answers...for Minecraft. He stumbled upon a page helpfully called Minecraft Wiki, which contained a wealth of knowledge to rival even the knowledge he'd attained from the Chitauri. He eagerly lapped it up, learning how to craft items such as tools and what he could have done with all the hard-earned resources (that had been STOLEN from him). He found creations that other players had built using the different types of blocks and goggled at the sheer creativity of the Midgardians. Then he found the page on 'Mobs.'

_A Creeper_. Loki read hatefully, staring at the odd, phallic shaped green thing that was apparently the scourge of many Minecraft players. _That's a very nice EVERYTHING you have there. It would be a SHAME if anything were to happen to it…_

This creature existed simply to destroy whatever it encountered by blowing itself and everything (and everyone) around it up, and the _Allfather dared to call HIM evil?_

Armed with this new information, Loki reopened the game and reappeared where he first started. Experience sent him immediately in search for trees and animals. He had to get enough to build a house in order to survive the first night, when the mobs came out. As the hours passed, he collected enough to build a small, windowless shack. After creating a crafting bench, he created a door, and then sequestered himself inside of his new shelter to organize his Inventory in a chest.

He nearly had a heart attack when he turned his character towards the door and saw the blank green face of a Creeper staring intently at him through the tiny windows. With its downturned lips and soulless eyes, it looked as intimidating as any enemy the God of Mischief had ever encountered…especially when he knew its only purpose in life was to blow his possessions and entire being to smithereens.

"I'm on to you, _Creeper_. You can't damage me when there is a block between us! I've outsmarted you!" Loki jeered. But the problem remained that he was essentially trapped because unlike with the other Mobs, Creepers weren't affected by daylight. So he dug into the earth. He thought digging straight down would be the fastest way to get into the earth, and it was…until he dug his way right into an underground pool of LAVA.

After respawning, Loki made his way back to his shack. The Creeper had wandered off so he was safe to enter and rethink his mining strategy. Which he did…and NOT straight down this time. (The other players on the Minecraft Forum identified this act as what a 'nOOb' would do, as he learned with some embarrassment).

He ended up in a vast cavern that he immediately set to lighting up with torches to prevent more mobs from spawning and ending his game prematurely again. He mined cobblestone, iron ore, and coal. At one point, his Inventory was so full that he decided to make a stop station where he could stash away extra cobblestone—which might come in handy for building the massive palace he planned to build—and smelt any iron or gold ore that he found in the two furnaces he'd also built. Donned in a full set of iron armor and with a full set of iron tools, things were looking up.

_Now to find diamonds…a resource more precious than even Captain America's precious Vibranium…_

By day sunrise he found his first vein of diamonds. He took a brief break only to feed and water his pesky mortal form, which had grown weak through the long night. Then he set about on a quest to find the _perfect_ location for his grand palace. What he envisioned would rival even that of the palace he'd grown up in on Asgard. His brother would be so jealous once he saw what Loki had created with his own hands. It made him smile as he began leveling a vast field.

By day two, he had the foundation built and needed more resources. Another massive mining excavation afforded him not only more cobblestone but redstone and diamonds, which Loki stashed away. After reading through the countless 'redstone circuits' that other players had created to power their creations, Loki came up with a few ideas that he would experiment with. But that would come later, after his grand palace was finished.

Day three yielded great progress on the grand palace. He'd put up walls of cobblestone and even began laying a rudimentary layer of red dyed wool for carpet. He would need to find some more sheep if he wanted to have any hope of covering the entire ground floor. But things were coming along very nicely. Loki smiled, rubbing absently at his mortal chin and the days' worth of beard growth.

He suffered a setback on the fourth day. It was his first encounter with an Enderman, a tall, slender creature whose body was so black that against the night sky, it looked like two pupil-less eyes staring at him. He made the mistake of looking at it before his better judgment could stop him. It stared back at him, opening its mouth in a drawn out hiss as it clutched at a block of cobblestone it had seized from the western wall of _his_ palace. The sound made the hair on the back of Loki's neck stand up on end. He attempted to attack, but it disappeared…only to reappear behind him and begin bashing at him with HIS cobblestone!

He must have passed out at some point between day four and five. That was the annoying thing about being in mortal form. This body required constant sustenance and rest—two very time consuming things he did not need when his palace still needed a roof. He woke up in Jason Johnson's desk feeling grumpy and achy from slumping over where he sat. But he found he was not alone.

Thor stood behind him, looking both grim and puzzled. Captain America stood just behind him, bearing his shield and a similar expression. They were both staring at Loki as if they barely recognized him. With days' worth of unkempt hair and beard and stained clothing…well, it wasn't hard to figure out why.

"Brother. We've come to take you in. I'd advise you come peacefully," the God of Thunder announced.

"How did you find me?" Loki asked. His mind was too sleep-fogged to think of anything more eloquent to say.

"S.H.E.I.L.D. has been aware of your return to Earth for days now," Captain America answered.

Loki raised an eyebrow at him, stretching. "Oh? Then why am I only _now_ knowing the…pleasure of your company?"

"Director Fury wanted to see what you were planning," Captain America replied, his eyes flicking towards the computer that had seen no rest in the past week. The massive cobblestone palace amidst the green pasture seemed only to puzzle him more.

"We're taking you in, brother. You will plague Midgard no longer with your schemes," Thor rumbled threateningly but with the same sad, disappointed look he always seemed to wear these days whenever he was around Loki.

Loki's first instinct was to fight, to escape, but he knew he had no chance. Not when he was powerless. And if they were here, he had a sneaking suspicion that the entire Johnson residence was saturated with S.H.E.I.L.D. agents, probably other Avengers too. His eyes drifted back to the computer screen, to his creation. Had it been worth devoting so many days to it instead of covering his tracks?

_Yes._ A demented little voice whispered in the back of Loki's mind as Thor hauled him to his feet and out of the bedroom. He couldn't help but to throw a look back at the computer, thanking Mojang for making Minecraft an auto-saving game. His creation, though unfinished, would live on without him.

"What is this?" Loki heard Captain America ask someone as was he was frog-marched down the hallway. "Some sort of…simulation? Was he going to build this somewhere on Earth, you think?"

"Uh…I don't think so, Sir. It's a game, I think. My daughter plays it. It's called Minecraft. Very addicting but…kind of pointless."

"Pointless? No…I don't think Loki would have spent DAYS parked here in front of it if he hadn't been up to something. Show me how to use this, and I will see for myself what he's been up to. It's nothing good, I'm sure," Captain America said in a voice full of determination.

Loki grinned, a manic look that made Thor frown at him. He didn't care, though. Soon, Captain America would be just as lost in the world of Minecraft as he was. He just hoped the good Captain Steve Rogers wasn't into griefing. If he was…well, revenge would be fierce and sweet. Loki could promise that.

_**~~FIN~~**_


End file.
